Sunday, June 21, 2009

seahorse love

Playing with Markers

Last night, I decided to finally break out those markers I bought weeks ago and give them a try. I loved it! I love the control compared to paint. So, I did a few "doodles" with the markers.

First one was my square pineapples, which I draw during the morning meeting (I have got to STOP THAT!)...they are silly, but it was fun to play with

and the other I went off the other girl face doodle I made (see last post)...this one ended up turning into flowers in my mind. It was great using the markers and I am going to keep experimenting.

I did buy a new sketchbook last night and it was very relaxing sitting on my couch, watching The Office and drawing. I slept well last night.

Saturday, June 20, 2009


I've got a doodlebug, it is a disease. I can NOT stop doodling. IT is crazy. Doodle on the phone, while I am in meetings, watching TeeVee. I need my head checked!

So, let's put my doodles to work - right? I love to draw and trying to get my artist side to come out again. So I doodled the 2 follow sketches. They are very messy and not finished. But I did them after talking with a friend that is in a band about art for band flyers. Every flyer I have seen is awesome and I wanted to give it a try. I am hoping to fine tune my skills and maybe make flyers for them. We will see...

So here are 2 of the doodles.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009


She grabbed the paint brush out of the pile in the cup and looked down at the blank canvas. The canvas just stared back, mocking her. Just sitting there and looking as blank as a hospital wall. She picked up a little of bright orange paint on her brush and held it over the canvas. Just held it there, not knowing which way to move her brush, but hoping she would get the feeling, “that in the zone” feeling where something takes you over.


She forces her hand down and makes one stroke with the brush. One bright orange line appears. Now, it is just a white space with a small orange line. Still nothing comes. Now the orange line begins to mock her. It sits there looking out of place. She feels empty, alone and out of place. She has always wanted to create beautiful things, but they never seen to please her. She has tons of canvases that have been painted over and over and over again. They are heavy with paint and all have began to look brown. Nothing she does turns out the way she pictures them in her head. She wants to create something beautiful.


She can’t get her hand to move in the right direction or the paint to flow the way she wants it to or the paper to sit the way she sees it in her mind. She wants to create. She wants to do everything, but everything seems to come out like a horrible amateur. Is there no magic in her hands? Why does she see the images in her hand and just can’t get them out on paper. She sees everything so vividly and wants to get it out. But, they all seem stuck. They are stuck in the emptiness inside.

She looks back down at the orange line. She takes her brush and puts it into the red paint and adds a stroke next the orange line. Now she has a blank canvas with an orange and red line. It is laughing at her. Telling her that she should stop now before she ruins the rest of the canvas. She turns away frustrated at the laughter in her head. The laughter stops and she turns back around and looks at the canvas, it is silent again.


Sunday, June 7, 2009

Dear Blog

Dear Blog,

You have not been updated in a week. I have neglected you and I am sorry. Work has been busy and my mind mush. I haven't had time to think about you or the empty canvas that sits on my floor.

Tonight I have had a few glasses of wine and thought of you and wanted to stop in and say hello. I had an amazing red wine tonight - Penfolds Bin 138 - buy it! Great wine. I had a fun weekend with friends new and old and didn't do some other things I had planned. I wanted to start on a new piece of artwork, clean up the story I have been writing and clean-up my messy apartment. Instead I hung out with friends and had a wonderful time. It was good to get out of the house and enjoy being around others.

I feel blocked on my art, I have been testing a few things on small canvas, but nothing is working the way I want it too and I don't have that "feeling" right now. I have to find it. I look at the pieces I have done and think I am a joke. Why am I even doing this - self torture? I am not that good. Sigh. We will see how I feel next week. I think the stress of every day has just gotten to me and other things have been pushed to a void. I need to work on that.

Well, blog, I am tried and need to head off to bed. Tomorrow morning I plan on getting up an hour early and start the couch to 5k program. I am nervous about it and want to complete it. I have to be in the right mind enough to get my lazy ass out of bed. Wish me luck. But I am looking forward to getting completely in shape.

On that note. Good night.


Monday, June 1, 2009


So, it was the last day of my long weekend. Most of it I spent pacing around my apartment or watching movies. I was suppose to go to Birmingham this weekend, but as I said before - it was a plane tix or my TECO bill...TECO won. Today was it - get the hell out of my house or waste the whole weekend.

I packed my beach bag and headed out the door. Left my house around 945am, stopped by Dunkin Donuts for a coffee and hit the road...30mins later I park at the beach.

Went to one of my old favorites - Fort Desoto's North Beach. It is not to far from my house, it is a beautiful state park with lots of white sandy beaches and wildlife. I think I like it the most, because no matter how busy it is, you can always find a quiet spot. Today, it was empty. The spot I found was very quiet. There is one guy sunbathing and a bird. I sit down and flipped through my magazine, then pulled out one of the 5 books I bought yesterday and just enjoyed the day not thinking.

Just enjoying the sites, sounds and smells of the beach and letting my mind get lost in nothing - in the beach - watching the birds fly by. It was peaceful and nice - that is until I turned my phone on and had 2 text msgs from work - the whole reason for my little escape. I ignored the msgs (well, I made sure they were not something pressing) and turned my phone off and threw it back into my bag.

I got into the water - which was perfect. Not too hot - not too cold - just right. When I am by myself I never venture out too far in the water - always a little nervous that there is some critter lurking just behind me. It gives me the creeps a is silly I know.

About 2 and half hours after I get there, I decide that I have had too much sun and need to head home, there is house work..etc...waiting on me. I pack up my stuff and head to my car.

As I am walking I notice this guy walking by himself in front of me. He is cute. I think to myself, wish I would had seen him on the beach. I continue on my way and notice that he is parked right near me and as he packs my car, he keeps looking back at me.

I get into my car and see the guy walking over to me - I just look at him, thinking maybe he is walking over to the trash can. He stops at my car and says hello (I have my window down because it is about 200 degrees in my car.) and I say hello back. He then says that he saw me walking and wanted to meet me and decided to come over and say hi. He asks my name and asks where I am headed. I tell him that I am headed up to the bar up the street to grab a beer before I head home and ask him to join me.

We sit down and have a drink. And we start talking about who we are what we do...etc...etc. I ask him what he did at the beach today and he told me that he was finding seahorses! I asked how he found the seahorses. He told me that if you look at the sea grass floating in - there is almost ALWAYS a tiny critter with it - be it baby fish, crabs or seahorses. I get really excited and tell him that I want to see the seahorses too. And he asks if I want to go back to the beach and look for seahorses. Being the aquamarine nerd I am - I jump up and say lets go!

We head back to the beach and get into the water to start looking for the seahorses. We find several baby puffer fish, baby pipe fish, live sand dollars, other unidentified baby fish and finally a tiny seahorse.

He scopes the tiny seahorse up and I hold out my hands, he adds water and the seahorse into my cupped hands. It is amazing. It is so small and so cute and it is just swimming there in my hands looking up at the giant monster that is holding it, hoping that I won't eat it. Finally I release it and it swims to the nearest piece of floating grass and is happy again. That little seahorse made my day. It was so amazing - just its size and the way it moved its body. It was so neat -I have never seen a seahorse in real life (besides aquariums) and have never held one in my hands. It was so cool.

I start to get tired and got sunscreen in my eyes, which calls for a towel emergency! My new friend jumps out of the water and runs to get my towel and we get the sunscreen out of my eyes. I am exhausted and it is now 5pm. I have no idea where the time went and I had so much fun. It was a wonderland. The guy I met today, I don't know if I will ever see again - but it was just nice. It was a very relaxing non-stress day.

I feel great right now, relaxed and happy.

I love seahorses.