The Haunted House

There is this house that Georgie and I pass everyday on our walk. It is a street over from where I live. I have dubbed it the haunted house.

I have never seen anyone go in or out and have never seen a car in the drive way. Every once in a while a light is on in the living room, but I don't see anyone moving about.

The windows (which you can not tell in the photos) have a "picket fence" design etched on them and the front door has an etching of a woman.

So, this has become the haunted house of the neighborhood. Here are a couple of photos. What do you think?

Goals for 2010

2010 is right around the corner. Unbelievable.

2010 - wow!

I have decided 2010 will be a good year for me, and I am going to make it that way. I have decided that I am going to pursue and make a documentary film. It is something that I have wanted to do for a very long time, but never had the heart to take the plunge and just do it.

No more dragging my feet. Starting in January I am going to begin to plan out and make my film. I don't know how long it will take me and I have 3 subject matters that I am looking into and researching. I am working on outlines now and will set mini goals for myself through the year.

I love documentary films, they are my favorite films to watch and I think I like them so much due to the fact that I have been in broadcast television for 12 years. And I believe that we make little tiny docs everyday. The research, talking to folks and presention of the story.

One thing that I was really proud of was when I worked at NBC13 in Birmingham Alabama, I researched, found, produced and wrote a series of stories called Alabama's Bravest. I profiled families with soldiers overseas. I thought I did a pretty good job. Don't know what other folks thought - but I liked the way the stories turned out.

Also for the past 4 years, I have been putting award entries together for WVTM and WFTS. There has not been a year that I worked on entries that we have not been nominated. The biggest part of putting together the awards is the best overall category. Basically you take everything your station has covered for a year and have to edit it down to either a 30min or hour statement. It is not an easy thing to do...you go through hours and hours of video and stories and have to pick out the best and put it all together.

So, now it is MY time to shine. It is my turn to find my story and make it. I am going to need help on this journey and all my friends that are filmmakers, I will be calling you for advice. I know that this is no easy task. (Hey Carl Ross, you are going to help me, whether you like it or not!)

I do want to thank, Jennifer West. She is a huge inspiration for me. She has been supportive and is a great role model for anyone. This woman is smart, creative and one of the biggest go getter's I have ever met in my whole life. She my best friend and mentor for this next phase in my life. If you don't know her, you should.

Also, I want to say thank you to my friends Kristen and Carson here in Tampa. I have told them about my ideas, and they have also been giving me the push to go forward. These 2 women are strong and wonderful people and really made me believe in myself.

So, my journey will begin soon. I am excited and scared, but mostly excited. There is a lot of hard work ahead and I am ready to get started. Wish me luck and I will be updating my progress here for now. When I finally plan out which angle I am going to take, I will make a website and put updates there....

Cheers to 2010!

Georgie the Corgi

Life has been up and down over the past year...mainly down. Things have been low and I have been struggling to get everything back on track.

Last week, I had an opportunity come my way. An odd one at that...
A friend told me that she found a dog for me. A dog?!? Me?!? Could I handle it?

I have wanted a dog for years and years and years. I grew up with a dog named Sandy. She was a beagle mix and a wonderful part of our family. But she was part of a big family - a mom, dad, brother, sister and me. Lots of people to help out. I wanted a dog, but never knew if I could handle the responsibility.

I work long hours, tend to be VERY spontaneous. Will jump in the car and take a 8 hour road trip if need be. When I get home from work I am so tired, I normally crash.

A dog - would change that...would it be for the worse or the best?

Georgie.

Georgie comes into my life. She is a 3 year old corgi. 100% corgi. Cute as a button. Sweet as pie and a snuggle bear.



This is how she got her name...at the shelter in Tennessee, where she was dropped off, the folks were calling her Sally. And the vet papers from her shots in Georgia, they called her Muffin. And I was thinking of naming her Abby. I went to pick her up, she had just gotten in from the long drive from Atlanta. She was in her crate, in the front seat of my car. I talked to her the whole way home. She didn't respond to Sally and didn't like Abby, but I noticed every time I said Georgia - she looked at me. When I said Georgie, her ears perked up and she seemed to smile at me. So, Georgie was her new name.

Having a new dog has been stressful. I have never had ANYONE be dependant on me and it has been different. There is this little creature, that I have to take care. This little life form that counts on me for food and protection. Here is little Georgie, waiting for me everyday when I get home. Waiting there for me - depending on me. Depending on me 100%. Odd.

Could I do it? The first few nights, it felt like I was just taking care of a dog for a friend (which I have done a lot). Then came in the thoughts of regret. What have I done? I am too selfish for a dog! I can't take care of myself, how am I suppose to take care of you? That night when I felt that ping of regret in my stomach, I cried. And I mean, I cried. Cried for hours. During my fit, Georgie was crewing her bone on the floor. She got up from the floor (I was on my bed laying on my stomach with my face buried in my pillow) and jumped on my bed. Next thing I know I feel this little head on my back. She was there. She was...taking care of me?

At that moment, the moment I felt the warmth of a tiny head laying on my back. I felt the soft breathing of her and could feel her body next time mine. I realized something.

I realized, that I didn't save her. She saved me. She saved me from the depression that I have been fighting. She saved me from myself. I realized that this little thing, this little dog - had saved me. She is something that I have to take care of...she is saving me, by just being there.

It hasn't been a breeze, but Georgie is a great dog. She is housebroken. She lets me know when she needs to go! She is funny, her favorite game is "bury the bone". She takes her bone and walks around the apartment looking for a place to "bury" it. Normally it is between the couch cushions. When she gets excited she does a "woof, woof, Hooowwwwwlll"...I want to play!

She is a great addition to my life, but has been a learning experience and I will keep learning. And I honestly believe that this little dog saved my life. As I saved hers.

I ***heart*** to look things up

So, one of the favorite things I like to do is research, look things up, find the meaning behind names, words...etc. Researching has also been a big part of my job (maybe that is why I do what I do). And I love a good challenge. There is nothing that I can not find, if it takes me hours, days, weeks...I will do my best to find it.

Yesterday was a fun example. We were having a debate in our newsroom on why Lakeland, Florida was called Lakeland. I threw out that I believed that it was named Lakeland because it has a TON of lakes, someone here disagreed with me - too easy.

So, I took the challenge. I had to find out why Lakeland is called Lakeland. A quick search on the Internet turned up a few history facts. Did you know that they were thinking about naming Lakeland - Munnville (after the man that founded the town), Red Bug (I want to know where that name came from!), or Rome City. But I could not find why they ended up choosing Lakeland. I found the number to the Lakeland Public Library and called the reference desk. I asked my question. Vic, the great guy at the desk told me to hold on, he was going to ask the library historian. After, less than a minute, Vic came back and said that the founder of the town, Abraham Munn, did not want the town named after him and they finally came to agreement to call the town Lakeland, due to ALL THE LAKES!

Lakeland - Lots of Lakes!

I have been to Polk County maybe twice since I have lived in the Tampa Bay area, but loved just reading the history on how towns formed along the railroad tracks.

I found a great site on Polk County History, if you have a few minutes take a look. http://www.polkcountyhistory.org/

Today - I wonder what I will find!

changing tones

I have decided if I am really going to use this blog, I need to work on it a little more.

Originally, I was posting about art that I was working on, but I think I need to expand a little and talk about a lot of things...this week I will be working on updating at least 3 times a week. I am not just going to focus on my art here. I don't know what I am going to write about just yet...but I am working on that...stay tuned...

In the mean time, here is another drawing I did for the micro-fiction site name your tale. This one took me just a few minutes and I was watching anime when I did it...think there was a little inspiration from the show I was watching!

http://www.nameyourtale.com/the-day-the-legos-came-alive/

zero posts, zero art

I haven't been working on any of my art projects recently...I need to get back in business.

The most recent thing I did as a small drawing for a story blog...here is the link to the story I drew http://www.nameyourtale.com/what-if-i-dont-like-heaven-when-i-get-there/...I don't know if it matches that well to the story, but for some reason it was the first thing that came to mind!

I promise more art soon! Need to get my mojo back.

I like your comment.

Back in college - this is before everyone had a cell phone and a computer. One of my first trips off campus was to go buy an answering machine.

I raced back home, and set it up. I can‘t remember how many times I recorded my greeting to make sure it was perfect.

After class, I would run home and get so excited if the red blinking light of my answering machine was on - and would get even more thrilled by counting how many messages I had. The more messages the more loved and liked right? Was this a sick need to feel liked? Why when I saw that red light blinking, it would make me happy and feel wanted?

Now, I log into my facebook page and my eye goes straight to the bottom right had corner, where the little red button will pop up and tell you how many likes, comments, comments of comments and random updates you have on your page. Why does it remind me of my answering machine back in college?

P.S. And what is really odd about that, is that I will get the alerts on my cell phone/email and would have already read what was written - but still get a little inside smile when I see the little red tab.

Maybe it is the color red?

seahorse love

Playing with Markers

Last night, I decided to finally break out those markers I bought weeks ago and give them a try. I loved it! I love the control compared to paint. So, I did a few "doodles" with the markers.

First one was my square pineapples, which I draw during the morning meeting (I have got to STOP THAT!)...they are silly, but it was fun to play with

and the other I went off the other girl face doodle I made (see last post)...this one ended up turning into flowers in my mind. It was great using the markers and I am going to keep experimenting.

I did buy a new sketchbook last night and it was very relaxing sitting on my couch, watching The Office and drawing. I slept well last night.

Doodlebug

I've got a doodlebug, it is a disease. I can NOT stop doodling. IT is crazy. Doodle on the phone, while I am in meetings, watching TeeVee. I need my head checked!

So, let's put my doodles to work - right? I love to draw and trying to get my artist side to come out again. So I doodled the 2 follow sketches. They are very messy and not finished. But I did them after talking with a friend that is in a band about art for band flyers. Every flyer I have seen is awesome and I wanted to give it a try. I am hoping to fine tune my skills and maybe make flyers for them. We will see...

So here are 2 of the doodles.

Block

She grabbed the paint brush out of the pile in the cup and looked down at the blank canvas. The canvas just stared back, mocking her. Just sitting there and looking as blank as a hospital wall. She picked up a little of bright orange paint on her brush and held it over the canvas. Just held it there, not knowing which way to move her brush, but hoping she would get the feeling, “that in the zone” feeling where something takes you over.

Nothing.
Blank.
Silence.
Empty.

She forces her hand down and makes one stroke with the brush. One bright orange line appears. Now, it is just a white space with a small orange line. Still nothing comes. Now the orange line begins to mock her. It sits there looking out of place. She feels empty, alone and out of place. She has always wanted to create beautiful things, but they never seen to please her. She has tons of canvases that have been painted over and over and over again. They are heavy with paint and all have began to look brown. Nothing she does turns out the way she pictures them in her head. She wants to create something beautiful.

Nothing.
Blank.
Silence.
Empty.

She can’t get her hand to move in the right direction or the paint to flow the way she wants it to or the paper to sit the way she sees it in her mind. She wants to create. She wants to do everything, but everything seems to come out like a horrible amateur. Is there no magic in her hands? Why does she see the images in her hand and just can’t get them out on paper. She sees everything so vividly and wants to get it out. But, they all seem stuck. They are stuck in the emptiness inside.

She looks back down at the orange line. She takes her brush and puts it into the red paint and adds a stroke next the orange line. Now she has a blank canvas with an orange and red line. It is laughing at her. Telling her that she should stop now before she ruins the rest of the canvas. She turns away frustrated at the laughter in her head. The laughter stops and she turns back around and looks at the canvas, it is silent again.

Nothing.
Blank.
Silence.
Empty.

Dear Blog

Dear Blog,

You have not been updated in a week. I have neglected you and I am sorry. Work has been busy and my mind mush. I haven't had time to think about you or the empty canvas that sits on my floor.

Tonight I have had a few glasses of wine and thought of you and wanted to stop in and say hello. I had an amazing red wine tonight - Penfolds Bin 138 - buy it! Great wine. I had a fun weekend with friends new and old and didn't do some other things I had planned. I wanted to start on a new piece of artwork, clean up the story I have been writing and clean-up my messy apartment. Instead I hung out with friends and had a wonderful time. It was good to get out of the house and enjoy being around others.

I feel blocked on my art, I have been testing a few things on small canvas, but nothing is working the way I want it too and I don't have that "feeling" right now. I have to find it. I look at the pieces I have done and think I am a joke. Why am I even doing this - self torture? I am not that good. Sigh. We will see how I feel next week. I think the stress of every day has just gotten to me and other things have been pushed to a void. I need to work on that.

Well, blog, I am tried and need to head off to bed. Tomorrow morning I plan on getting up an hour early and start the couch to 5k program. I am nervous about it and want to complete it. I have to be in the right mind enough to get my lazy ass out of bed. Wish me luck. But I am looking forward to getting completely in shape.

On that note. Good night.

Love,
Rebecca

Sunburnt

So, it was the last day of my long weekend. Most of it I spent pacing around my apartment or watching movies. I was suppose to go to Birmingham this weekend, but as I said before - it was a plane tix or my TECO bill...TECO won. Today was it - get the hell out of my house or waste the whole weekend.

I packed my beach bag and headed out the door. Left my house around 945am, stopped by Dunkin Donuts for a coffee and hit the road...30mins later I park at the beach.

Went to one of my old favorites - Fort Desoto's North Beach. It is not to far from my house, it is a beautiful state park with lots of white sandy beaches and wildlife. I think I like it the most, because no matter how busy it is, you can always find a quiet spot. Today, it was empty. The spot I found was very quiet. There is one guy sunbathing and a bird. I sit down and flipped through my magazine, then pulled out one of the 5 books I bought yesterday and just enjoyed the day not thinking.

Just enjoying the sites, sounds and smells of the beach and letting my mind get lost in nothing - in the beach - watching the birds fly by. It was peaceful and nice - that is until I turned my phone on and had 2 text msgs from work - the whole reason for my little escape. I ignored the msgs (well, I made sure they were not something pressing) and turned my phone off and threw it back into my bag.

I got into the water - which was perfect. Not too hot - not too cold - just right. When I am by myself I never venture out too far in the water - always a little nervous that there is some critter lurking just behind me. It gives me the creeps a little...it is silly I know.

About 2 and half hours after I get there, I decide that I have had too much sun and need to head home, there is house work..etc...waiting on me. I pack up my stuff and head to my car.

As I am walking I notice this guy walking by himself in front of me. He is cute. I think to myself, wish I would had seen him on the beach. I continue on my way and notice that he is parked right near me and as he packs my car, he keeps looking back at me.

I get into my car and see the guy walking over to me - I just look at him, thinking maybe he is walking over to the trash can. He stops at my car and says hello (I have my window down because it is about 200 degrees in my car.) and I say hello back. He then says that he saw me walking and wanted to meet me and decided to come over and say hi. He asks my name and asks where I am headed. I tell him that I am headed up to the bar up the street to grab a beer before I head home and ask him to join me.

We sit down and have a drink. And we start talking about who we are what we do...etc...etc. I ask him what he did at the beach today and he told me that he was finding seahorses! I asked how he found the seahorses. He told me that if you look at the sea grass floating in - there is almost ALWAYS a tiny critter with it - be it baby fish, crabs or seahorses. I get really excited and tell him that I want to see the seahorses too. And he asks if I want to go back to the beach and look for seahorses. Being the aquamarine nerd I am - I jump up and say lets go!

We head back to the beach and get into the water to start looking for the seahorses. We find several baby puffer fish, baby pipe fish, live sand dollars, other unidentified baby fish and finally a tiny seahorse.

He scopes the tiny seahorse up and I hold out my hands, he adds water and the seahorse into my cupped hands. It is amazing. It is so small and so cute and it is just swimming there in my hands looking up at the giant monster that is holding it, hoping that I won't eat it. Finally I release it and it swims to the nearest piece of floating grass and is happy again. That little seahorse made my day. It was so amazing - just its size and the way it moved its body. It was so neat -I have never seen a seahorse in real life (besides aquariums) and have never held one in my hands. It was so cool.

I start to get tired and got sunscreen in my eyes, which calls for a towel emergency! My new friend jumps out of the water and runs to get my towel and we get the sunscreen out of my eyes. I am exhausted and it is now 5pm. I have no idea where the time went and I had so much fun. It was a wonderland. The guy I met today, I don't know if I will ever see again - but it was just nice. It was a very relaxing non-stress day.

I feel great right now, relaxed and happy.

I love seahorses.

ready? set!?! GO!

It's Friday night and I feel like I am about to drop dead. Had to work the AM Shift this morning - which means getting up at 2:30am. I am not a morning person at all - that shift is for zombies.

I took a small nap after getting home, but now I feel like that said zombie. My head is killing me, I am hot as hell and grouchy. But, after sitting here staring at the baby computer (it is a mini-laptop - love it and it has been named baby computer. Just like my phones - work phone and baby phone - this name calling started when baby phone was ringing one night at work several years ago and I was singing about the phone being small and it was a baby - I know strange thought but I had to share) and I got the urge to go to the art supply store. I hate that supplies cost so much. I bought a few little canvases and some texture medium and markers.

The markers are an idea. I am an obsessive doodler at work. When I am on the phone, in meetings anywhere - I am always doodling. I can't seem to focus unless I am doing several things at once - and doodling is my thing. My work notebooks over the years could be there own art show. And sometimes I really really like the way my doodles come out. So, I am going to doodle at home and see what happens. If it works like the picture I see in my head - I will post the finish product.

In addition to the art work I am beginning, I am writing too. I had a friend here in Tampa, after telling him a story, convince me to "write it down". So, I have written it down. It is very crude right now and I have to re-write and add to it. I don't know if I will ever have the courage to show anyone it, but the layout and thoughts are on paper. When I complete it, I may show it to a few people. But, I have always thought I am a terrible writer...so it is going to take some time before I show anyone that and it is also about something very personal - it was hard to write, during most of my time typing it out, I was a crying mess. So, we will see.

BUT ANYWAY, experiments begin tonight! If I don't pass out first.

some examples

I have a goal. I want to have 15 pieces made before the end of September - in addition to the piece that I am about to start for some friends.

Here are a few of my pieces...the picture quality is not that good, used a camera phone. The one with no color is the first piece I ever made using words. It will never be sold or given away and is very very special to me. Every word used in it, means something to me - is about me and the way I feel about myself.

The one that is red and orange is a very small piece I made, I like the colors. It was an experiment. The orange is actually acrylic paint that I laid out on plastic, let dry, peeled if out and worked it like clay into the shape it is on the canvas. I don't know if I like it that much, but I was trying something new.

The piece that I am making for my friends, I am going to experiment with different other textures and I am excited to get started.

random thoughts

So, I have finally decided to start a blog. I have had this space for a while and had no idea what to go with it...what to write about...what to say...should it just be my general thoughts? Things I'm doing? What I am working on? Just a public dairy?

A little bit about me. I work in television news and have been in the business for over 10 years now. At heart, I am a wanna be artist. I want to write, I want to paint, I want to work in films, anything that lets me be creative and expressive. I have of recently started writing and have continued working on my paintings. I am a mixed medium painter...I make pieces using words. With my career, I can not be creative. It is a job where you have to research and uncover the facts and present them in a balanced way. I have always enjoyed working in news - I love researching ( I think it is my nosey nature - always wanting to know more and learn more)...but I try to make up in my free time, with art.

I am about to start a new piece for a couple of friends of mine, they want a big piece to put in their sitting room. It is a challenge to focus a painting on someone else. I have jotted a few ideas down on paper and now need to get the supplies and see if I can start this thing. I know where I want to go with the piece, I just need to figure out the starting point. I think that is the hardest part for me. That first stroke of paint and where it is going to take me. Sometimes, I can have a blank canvas staring back at me for weeks before I can even start and there is a collection of old canvas behind my frig, that have been re-painted so many times the paint is thick and the canvas is heavy - I need to throw them out, but I hate wasting the canvas. I had an art teacher tell me once that when you draw or paint there is never a mistake. Take that line and make it into something...and I have always followed that thinking. My hand is taking to somewhere, just continue to let it flow. I have decided that if I ever win the lottery that I am moving back to a place I love and I am going to open an art gallery/production house. I want to showcase and fund all of my friends art ( meaning paintings, movies...etc.). I can only dream at this point in time.

Right now, it is Sunday night, I am tired and really wishing that I did not have to go to work tomorrow. I had to work both yesterday and today for a few hours and just want a little break. My schedule there is all over the place for the next few months. This week I am working Monday - Thursday dayside, Friday - am show...then I am off on saturday, sunday and monday and work nightshift on Tuesday. I worked in an extra long weekend, and was hoping to go to Birmingham for the weekend, but it was pay my power bill or buy a plane ticket. The power bill won. But, I think it is a good thing, I found out today that a 2 friends of mine that live out of town are coming in this weekend, so that makes me happy. I love seeing old friends especially the ones, that are your closest friends thought know everything about you!

I tend to write in random thoughts, maybe I should re title this thing "Random thoughts of a single 30something".

I don't know who is going to be interested in reading this thing, but right now, it is going to serve me as an outlet, which I believe I need right now.

Cheers for now and good night.